Taking Inventory

Let's see...it's mid-February. Let's see where things stand:

• Right now I'm living with my father and his wife, an arrangement they're definitely not too thrilled with.
• The part-time retail job I took at the mall at Christmas has ended. Business is so slow that the store manager was sending employees home; he certainly wasn't about to put me on the schedule.
• I have no health insurance (the COBRA from my last job ended in October). Each day is a gamble; I hope my luck doesn't run out.
• In between job hunting and looking for job networking and low-cost educational opportunities, I've been selling my personal items. It brings a few dollars in to help me pay my auto insurance and other bills.
• My 10-year old car is a beater. It runs, more or less, but it looks like hell and sounds like a tank. In fact, I've taken to cutting the engine halfway down my street and coasting into the driveway when I come home from the library at night, to keep from waking my dad and stepmother.
• I don't watch TV. I don't have the time for it, and besides, I think the cost for cable television/dish channels is obscene.
• New clothes? Ha ha ha ha ha. Not likely.

I'm lucky, in many respects. My dad and his wife haven't put me out on the street -- yet. I don't have children, which would add a whole different element to the equation. When I got a flat tire last week, my brother came and got me (and his kids, we were coming home from a family event). And my dad drove me to the tire shop the next day so I could get a new tire for my car. (Dad didn't pay for the tire; he just played taxi.)

But still, I think to myself, this is nonsense. Why am I knocking myself out to get a job here? Why am I living hand-to-mouth here, when there are better opportunities in Charlotte, N.C., Atlanta, Austin, Tx, Las Vegas -- even Columbus, Ohio.